You are exactly what I'm looking for

[Click. Click. Clickclickclickclick - she's still trying to figure it out. Clearly.]

dfsasaaaaaaa;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[click. Voice!]

Now this is terribly curious, isn’t it? [There’s a loud rustling as Alice maneuvers the oh so foreign device she's been gifted with, and then there’s a loud exclamation that denotes an ‘aha!’ moment.

…It’s promptly discarded in favor of the creature sleeping on her chair. The device clatters to the floor, but keeps recording.]

Oh, how remarkable-! Why, I do believe I’ve never quite seen anything like you before, have you a name?

[Silence]

No? Then I shall call you Tullywobble, and you shall be mine, considering that you are in what appears to be my room, since I’ve been given directions here through this whimsically magical box--

[Several more moments of general awe over the beast, and then-]

Now, where was that little --

[crunch – feed ends. Contrary to the rest of you, Alice DID go to her quarters!]

That was certainly odd last night, don't you all think?

[There's always odd and interesting noises going off in the background when Alice is around. There's something that sounds oddly like an elephant trumpeting this time. There's no telling where she might be.]

Now, let's see - which button again-- [Everyone is treated to a closeup of Alice's fingers before the video cuts off just as quickly, and it's reverted back to voice.]

Here we are!

Ah, I was just about to inform all of you good residents and I suppose the not so good ones, everyone deserves a nice cup of tea to a tea party in Sergei's restaurant. It'll be sooner rather than later, but not before noon and certainly not starting after midnight. I'll be quite certain to inform you all as soon as I make up my mind as to which is which and what is what.

Now - everyone's invited, of course, even the crew and our dear Captain! I must say, preparations are in order for something of this sort, it's certainly been a long time coming and it should have come long before now. I suppose I'll just have to blame sheer laziness on my part, though I admit it may or may not have something to do with the fact that there are several individuals that I can't seem to find they're proving most troublesome indeed - how odd, to simply vanish like that!

Now then-!

Has anyone any requests? Food, not food, scones, biscuits, pound cake, sponge cake, carrot cake, coffee cake, toffee cake, cream puffs, Financiers or Friands, lemon curd, lemon tart or perhaps apple tart?

[one has to wonder how she BREATHES!

Also, with all her button mashing, she's managed to transcribe this into a text post, as well~]

[Well! This place is most certainly curious - though is it as oddly fascinating and wonderful as Underland? Alice hasn't yet decided, because Underland is simply the most curious thing Alice has dealt with to date! Except...the lobsters are currently waging a war with the Bandersnatch in her mind as to which creature takes the cake for being the most curious.

Alice can be found (still in her battle armor splattered with blood!) by one of the many lobsters running rampant on the beach. Her voice is a bit of a whisper.]

How curious indeed! Why, I do think I've gone quite mad. [She sounds delightedly pleased at this conclusion.]